Moving, one life’s hardest issues, I had always believed that this theory was an over exaggeration that moving ranks third with understandably a death being number one and a divorce being number two. But moving being a third, how and why so? Read on………
First of all though, please understand that I am NOT diminishing the huge life tragedy of death or divorce. To all of you beloved followers, I would never undermine or compare your struggles with my challenges of our major life transition.
But for my recent experience, I can now speak to why downsizing and or relocating is actually number three of life’s major challenges, especially for the O50s. This is because for us O50s, those over 50 years old, moving and or relocating is a Lifesizing® issue, not merely a downsizing issue. You see, Lifesizing® incorporates the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of life, of these life challenges of downsizing, moving, and relocating.
THE PHYSICAL REASON
Most of you know that I have been a wellness guru for a very long time by eating healthy (most of time) getting exercise, along with striving to live a balanced life with sleep and stress control.
Well, most of that went out the window with our downsizing, packing, unpacking, and basically starting over by movong out of state. Now granted we did all this in our early 70’s but still, it kicked our butts physically!
The positive side of this challenge? We were way ahead for our age being physically able to endure all that our move required of us. Anyone of any age needs to acknowledge the physical drain of a life transition such as we did. This is another huge reason why I am such a promoter of taking super good care of ourselves physically to be able to handle any of life’s challenges regardless what they look like.
Distributing furniture to our “adult kids”
ANOTHER PHYSICAL REASON
Our healthy eating took a major dive mainly because our new to us kitchen was not set up right away. And then who knew how challenging it would be to learn how to shop entirely new grocery store options? As a foodie and as a cook, I was more than out of my comfort zone, I was actually uncharacteristically dismayed. More importantly though, my overall nutritional wellness was very compromised which made my physical recovery thwarted even more.
Even with my awesome family helping set up my kitchen, it still took awhile for me to know how to function in my new cooking world.
However, the positive side of this food challenge was that Ohio is a mecca for fruit and vegetable markets overflowing with the freshest produce that I have ever seen or tasted. And the flowers, be still my heart! Most people do not comprehend how beautiful Ohio truly is with gorgeous landscapes and much much more to offer.
Image of all local produce which tastes amazingly flavorful unlike store bought produce!
THE MENTAL REASON
Where do I start on the mental challenge of this huge life transition? The biggie of course was connecting with a high- level melanoma specialist for Bob. In my last post, I shared how thrilled we were with UPMC in Pittsburg, PA less than an hour from us.
Click here to read “Behind the Scenes of This is Us“
A huge mental drain was determining:
Primary care doctors
Eye doctor
Dermatologist for skin check ups
Dentist
Plus,
Hair stylist…. major challenge!
Banks for accounts & etc.
New Insurance policies in Ohio
Legal and financial advisor
And the list goes on….
The positive side of this mental drain was eventually feeling a huge sense of accomplishment establishing these all new medical and other services.
ANOTHER MENTAL REASON
Organizing our new home…..oh my! This took forever which definitely surprised me . Yes, I was definitely spoiled with my former very own dressing area and large walk in closet that I designed just for me. Therefore, making my new life wardrobe fit into a much smaller closet was initially like salt in my wound of this major life change. Acknowledging again that moving is one of life’s hardest challenges, this brought me to tears many times.
Once I realize and accepted that more sorting downsizing still remained as one of those nagging tediuous chores yet to accomplish, I learned my personality could only do one area or one room at a time. The living areas were totally easier for me emotionally as I put on my designer hat to not only brain storm but to implement what I had been teaching and speaking on for years.
The positive side of this major mental brain drain is that life just keeps getting better and better through having less with downsizing, but also with experiencing less stress with better organization.
I am loving this simpler life! And yes, I am still a shoealholic 🙂
EMOTIONAL REASON
There was only one emotional reason for me but this one was a biggie! I took a major emotional dive missing my identity as an interior designer AND missing all my friends and connections in Wichita, KS.
Special friends will never be replaced or forgotten!
The positive side has been connecting with long time high school friends plus meeting new friends that will become special to me given time to make our own history together. Plus, I am blessed to have my sister close by and other family as well. However, make no mistake about it, being prepared to start a new community if relocating states ,is another reason again, why moving is one of life’s greatest challenges.
Was it worth it all? You betcha!
Now that we are settled in, we are having the time of our lives. We absolutely are in love with our new home, our quiet and peaceful neighborhood, wonderful church, exploring new places, and of course, being near family.
My ultimate reason for writing this post was to give you all a heads up to be prepared beyond just the actual physical move. Especially if a move is in your future, whether local or otherwise, it is imperative to gain additional knowledge which is a powerful tool to facilitate all aspects of your new life. The more you know, the more you can prepare yourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally.
And that my dear friends is purely Design SMARTS!
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My parents did their major downsizing (Rightsizing?) in their late 50’s preparing for their old age by moving to a much smaller house with mostly one-story living. A true blessing why my Dad had a stroke in his mid-70’s but despite being handicapped afterwards, was able to live in his home for the rest of his life. And when I had to sell the house and dispose of everything when my Mom passed, it wasn’t as onerous because they always had the future in their minds-eye.
How wonderful Linda that you’re parents we’re so proactive in both their housing needs and their downsizing.
I’m sure you’re aware of all the other types of parents that one, ignored their needs and two, kept everything!
We ask ourselves in debating our own downsizing, will our kids be frustrated with us if we don’t spare them going through our stuff after we’re gone. It really helps us.
I have experienced many of the things you talk about. I began my moving adventures many years ago. After 14 moves I will say it does get easier. Thankfully Mitzi you were there to help with my last two? Miss you and love your blog.
Oh Rosie, how wonderful to hear from you but also that I made your moves a bit easier.
Thank you for reading my blog and I miss you because you are one of the sharpest women I know. XO
I’ve watched my older relatives down-size or right-size and the work and challenges are as you describe! I am continually trying to work on culling down our things so it will be easier when we want to make this move! Thanks for your wisdom
How fortunate for you Lisa that you’ve had these role models to emulate.
Truth… even though Bob and I thought we had downsized tons from being married then almost 50 years, oh boy. We realized we moved about 30% too much and then had to deal with it
You’re a wise designer lady and I have no doubt that you will be proactive when it’s your time to get really serious.
Wayne’s youngest brother, my brother-in-law passed away in November and to his credit he was the family historian. My help with getting my sister-in-laws to prepare for and host a sale before painting and renovating the house to sell in a desirable location cannot prepare you for all the stuff one stashed and keeps beyond any reasoning. This was a hard thing to tackle. Tomorrow I go to help with the rest of what I can do. It’s been handled more by the sisters and less by us as we live 3 hrs away. So number one Before anyone tackles the House is put together a list of all the needs (vendors, painters, and other experts) we had 2 organs in the house, one large and 1 smaller. The small one sold. It is amazing how many people wanted an organ.. no body we knew so perhaps getting the hard to sell items first to area churches or musicians to identify who could be the new owner of that Organ!
I learned also on the secondary Market there’s lots of interest in
1) cords to older machines
2) albums ( don’t sell the covers silly billy) to our joy, we discovered Jerry went to garage sales and bought tons of classical masterpieces and older albums with pedigrees. I sent my dad 12 albums of fiddle and guitar music from all his favorites. These things need to be investigated as to vintage and sold online or to reputable companies. A 6 piece set of Elvis was in mint condition and sold handsomely for more than we would have known about. So you never know when you will find treasures.
Wow Diana, great insight on preparing for the inevitable which is none of us will live forever.
And yes, as I’ve mentioned, Bob and I still moved many unnecessary items that made our setting up our downsized home even more challenging.
If we want to spare our families, we will indeed bless them by sorting and distributing our items NOW.
Thank you for commenting Diana!
Mitzi,
Thanks again for an insightful post about what you went through in this major move. I can completely relate. I have had to move quite a bit since 2008, and it is never easy to *reset*, but I am so glad you and Bob are finally feeling more settled in there in Ohio, and that you are establishing new friendships and getting to see old high school friends.
Thank you Leslie for understanding my post as you and I know by experience, this is a many layered challenge.
My reason for writing posts on this topic is that moving or relocating either alone or being an O50 has different issues like loss of identity and etc.
I’m was not emotionally prepared for that aspect so I hope these posts will enlighten others that it’s more than a physical endeavor.
Moving is definitely not for the faint of heart! its one id the reasons that the last time we moved was twenty years ago. No thank you!
I hear you Christina!
You have expressed why moving is third of life’s greatest issues.
But life will and does happen which is exactly why we did what we did.
I appreciate your verifying comment.
I’m in ostrich mode with regard to moving…I visited my attic recently and told my daughter I’m going to have to die in this house because I don’t think I can ever move! Blessedly, it is not a large house, and I have slowly been cleaning out and editing different areas, but still, there is SO MUCH STUFF and much that I’m not quite ready to part with yet. There IS great appeal in simplifying and I am much more circumspect about acquiring – everything new that comes in needs at least a corresponding thing (or three) to leave! Congratulations on persevering in your transition to a new and wonderful adventure!
Well Janet, it appears that you are so much further than you give yourself credit for in being cognizant of your “stuff”
And your theory of not accumulating is another indication of how you’re ahead of most.
Your daughter will thank you!
I have watched and participated in my parents’ downsizing. I am glad they did it when they were (and still are) in great health. I can see how much more they enjoy life (and not worry about the yard work, etc.). It’s been a blessing to see them so happy in their villa.
Mitzi, thank you for taking us along on your journey. Wishing you and your family all the best.
Having relocated in the best couple of years, it is a huge life change, you are so right Mitzi! This was a great post, I enjoyed reading every single word of it!